you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
