can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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