Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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