Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
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I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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