I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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