the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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