He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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