uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
