Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
