hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
