Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
