you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
