Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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