she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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