In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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