i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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