guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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