remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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