I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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