I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
