I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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