i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
