her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
