i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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