Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
