She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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