I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
