im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
