I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
