i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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