Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize