Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
