id be glad to
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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