she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
