is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
