Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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