he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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