How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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