is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
