I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
