My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
