My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
