Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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