I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize