"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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