im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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