The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
