first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize