You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
