This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just want to make out with him forever
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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