just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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