I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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