You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
