In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
