I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
