just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
