its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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