Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
