Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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