Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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